ET? GO HOME!!!
by Michelle
Summary: I hate ET. So, with a little push from Ruby, I had the boys gun a few down. Please tell me what you think!


**Disclaimer:**Nope, don't own 'em. Wish I did, but I don't.   
**Rating:**I cuss occasionally, but nothing too bad. Nothing explicit, except violence at the end, and I don't really get into that...PG-13?   
**Author's Note:**I have been scared to death of E.T. (the extraterrestrial) since I was little. So after I read Ruby's "Llyod at 20,000 Feet" I was forced to write this one. Thank you Ruby for the inspiration!!! There are a few things that people that are real movie buffs will get that others won't. Any one who gets the REAL joke when Chris reads the titles of the movies should win a Marvel No-Prize (which in itself is yet another joke. Not really a funny joke, but a joke to people who obsess at my level.) There's a few other inside jokes, especially at the beginning. Send me an email if you get 'em!!! [Mail Michelle!][1]

E.T.? GO HOME!!!

It had been a decent night, when all was said and done. They'd played a few hands of poker, had a drink or five, and, courtesy of JD's new Nintendo machine, played Mario Kart 64. 

Chris had invited the group up to his ranch for the week-end after cracking a particularly grueling case. Buck and JD had brought up the N64 mainly because JD couldn't live without video games for more than a few hours. He would have just brought a few of computer games, but Chris's computer couldn't even run the new Command and Conquer game, Tiberian Sun. 

JD and Nathan were happily shooting at one another in paintball mode of Goldeneye. The others lounged around on various chairs and couches in the den while Ezra flipped through the channels. 

He stopped flipping at the sight of a Jean Claude Van Damme movie he'd seen roughly a thousand times. A bus was making it's way up a winding highway toward the camera. 

"Oh, come on Ez! We hate this one!" Vin cried. "Besides you never watch it once that Billy guy dies anyway!" 

Ezra put in his own two cents before flipping the channel. "That is because Billy is the only one with trye bravery and finese in the whole movie. Rescuing a wrongly imprisoned man from certain doom..." 

JD's voice cut in. "Ezra, give it a rest, will you?" 

Vin chuckled. "Hey wait! Back up a few! Yeah there! Dark Skies is on." 

"Mr. Tanner, we have seen every episode of this particular series multiple times. I for one do not wish to see this one again, despite the presence of Jeri Ryan, any more than you wish to view "Nowhere to Run"." Ezra continued flipping. 

"Chris, didn't you rent videos?" Buck asked from the other side of the room. 

Chris stood and picked up a tall stack of black video cases. "Yeah, Josiah and I got Aliens, Clerks, The Terminator, something called The Magnificent Seven, Return of the Killer Tomatoes, and Alien Resurrection." 

"Well my vote is for Return of the Killer Tomatoes with that fantastic actor Anthony Starke." said Ezra. 

"I say we go for Alien Resurrection." said Josiah. 

"If we're watching an 'Alien' movie, I think we should move more towards Aliens. The male lead in that one is much better than in Alien Resurrection." Chris argued. 

The arguing was cut off suddenly as ferocious growling and barking came from the dog kennel in the back of the house. 

"What the hell . . .?"Nathan asked. 

"Coyotes must be back." said Vin. The word coyote came out as ky-oat. He grabbed his pistol and went toward the back door. 

JD and Buck exchanged grins. "Target practice!" said JD excitedly. The rest of the team shrugged, grabbed their weapons and followed Vin out back. 

Vin was kneeling with one hand to the ground when they arrived. "I ain't never seen tracks like these before. They sure as hell ain't coyotes, I can tell you that." 

"Over there1" pointed Nathan. A bright light was over in the trees. 

The group quickly made their way, guns pointed forwars, toward the light. 

Ezra and Vin were the first in the clearing. They were still standing there, mouths agape, when the rest of the team arrived on scene. 

Small, brown, tubby creatures were walking around the clearing, pulling up trees and grass. The conservationist in Ezra wept. Their box-like heads sat on impossibly skinny necks, and they made strange grunting noises as they walked. Four of the biggest noticed the group and squealed, a honking frightening noise. 

JD screamed and opened fire. The other six weren't close behind him. 

The brown things raced towards their ship, but not before three of them were cut down, blood flying everywhere. 

The brightly colored ship took off and the team was still firing long after both the ship and their ammunition was gone. 

Chris shouted for them to stop. After they finally calmmed down, the group moved in on the fallen creatures. 

JD poked at one with the tip of his sneaker. It was riddled with bullet holes. "I don't think this one will be squealing no more." 

"Well, guys, I don't think they'll be botherin' us again." Vin said, smiling. 

"I wonder what they were." Buck thought out loud as he looked down at one of the things. 

"Look like something outta Star Wars." said Josiah. 

"Well, gentlemen, I for one will sleep much better at night knowing this creatures will not be appropriating any more of Chris's flora." Ezra flicked a bit of blood from his shoe. 

"Huh?" said JD. 

"I think what Ezra means is," said Vin, "that these puppies aren't coming back and we should find out what they taste like before we call any one." 

"Augh! Vin! Don't you have any sense at all? They could have rabies or something!" said JD. 

"Highly unlikely JD." began Ezra. He continued in his best redneck voice. "I'll just bet they taste like possum!" 

And on the way back to the house, Chris and Josiah were still bickering over which Alien movie to watch.   


The End

  
  
**P.S.**Okay, so it was very out of character for all the guys involved. But that's okay. It was a closure thing for me. Besides, every once in a while the boys need to have a little fun. Personally, I wouldn't mind blowing a few shells into one of those creepy things. Sorry if I offended any one, or made them cry over the death of their childhood friend or idol or whatever. But I really had to get it outta my system!!!   


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   [1]: mailto:gnrbabe@hotmail.com
   [2]: http://www.geocities.com/michellestandish/index.html
   [3]: http://www.geocities.com/michellestandish/fanfic.html



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